The Battle

Once I saw myself and I knew who I could be. 
The power house unrivalled; nothing could touch me. 
See, I was born imperfect and I'm not ashamed of it. 
It's how I found my heart and it got me battle fit. 
Big plans and dreams and fantasies of the life that I could see,
So what if I'm not perfect, coz I'm in love with me. 

For years I fought the good fight, no reason to give in. 
Then curve ball after curve ball put me in a spin. 
See, having the heart of a warrior can make you feel quiet tired
When all about you look, an all there is are fires. 
And when the night is all about and there is no wood for trees. 
I forget about the warrior and all the fantasies.

I've fought too long a battle so hard I never wanted to be in. 
But I have to keep my warrior marching deep within. 
I'll wear my war wounds and my scars running deep with pride, 
This body doesn't define me. Me it cannot hide.

Sometimes this life can make me weak and life's struggle gets too hard
And every now then fate hands us all a suck-ass card. 
But I'll cherish every triumph though small, they're really big. 
Coz I wasn't meant to be here, I wasn't meant to be. 
Put her in an institution, that's what they said to do, 
But no, my folks wouldn't have it, and decided to see it though. 

So home I went and a warrior made with gentle words and guidance. 
Words of hope and courage that gave me a defiance. 
I will stand tall I told myself even when I can't stand at all. 
Coz standing up and fighting back is surely better than the fall. 
And through the years there's times I've had my back against the wall
And battle lines advanced on me till I couldn't take no more. 

I've fought too long a battle so hard I never wanted to be in. 
But I have to keep my warrior marching deep within. 
I'll wear my war wounds and my scars running deep with pride, 
This body doesn't define me. Me it cannot hide.

But once again the beating drums of defiance and of fight. 
To live my life how I decide has always been the plight. 
No strings to hold me back and wings on which I fly.  
It's ok to look into the night and ask the question why. 
My body will betray me, but it's my heart that you will see. 
This imperfection does not define me there's so much more within.

For every battle I have lost there's many I have won. 
And I tell you what still keeps me; it's that warriors beating drum. 
I may have had to rest a bit but I'll always stand again. 
For in this life, for what I want, there is no "just give in". 
My body may not make it but theres a heart and mind within, 
That's sure no matter what there's a war that I will win. 

I've fought too long a battle so hard I never wanted to be in. 
But I have to keep my warrior marching deep within. 
I'll wear my war wounds and my scars running deep with pride, 
This body doesn't define me. Me it cannot hide.

Do not be fooled I am not strong but neither am I weak. 
It is not praise or encouragement nor your assistance that I seek. 
I mearly need to tell you and tell it to myself. 
Don't think a body broken is worth nothing but the shelf. 
I don't know what will happen or how my life will change, 
But I can tell you I will not give in and if you think that's strange..

Then realise this is my life, my choice, there is no practice game.
Cerebral palsy is the condition, but that is not my name. 
Yes I have a disability but of me that's a tiny part. 
I won't let it define me in that you can take heart. 
So to end these lines laid out before there's a message I like to give.
Broken bruised and battered you can bet your ass I'll live!

 

Paintings

 The fires of agony   Oil on canvas 

The fires of agony

Oil on canvas 

 Depressions darkness   Acrylic on canvas

Depressions darkness 

Acrylic on canvas

 Valentines   Oil on canvas

Valentines 

Oil on canvas

 Bake!  Acrylic on wood.

Bake!

Acrylic on wood.